if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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