boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
