from now on my penis is your penis
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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