I just made out with a guy for $7.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
