He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
