Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
