its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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