so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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