I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
