okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
