So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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