Got a toothbrush?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
