he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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