i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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