But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
