Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
