Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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