did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
