So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
