Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
