Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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