They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
