We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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