This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
