She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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