I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
