Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Randomize
