your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
