He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I think I just sharted jello shots
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