I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
