i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
