Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
