Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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