Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
