I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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