I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Who died my cat blue again?
how drunk are you?
Several
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
