Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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