are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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