He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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