First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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