Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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