he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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