If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
