ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
