There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
