My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
