Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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