He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
