god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
