Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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