i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
MIDGETS
????
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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