been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
