Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Never joke about your clitoris.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
