My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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